No longer living out loud

August 1, 2011

or how time, the web, things have changed.

Even before the internet, I spent a lot of time in my head. Then I spent a lot of time online. The internet in the late 90s taught me lots of things. The early 00s brought me an online network of like minded people who inspired me to size acceptance and photography.

Once I loved blogs- I would spend hours online looking into other people’s lives. Loving what they had to say, admiring their design, their courage, their humour. Once I loved to blog- I berated myself if I didn’t do it weekly, even if I didn’t have anything to say. I was the girl who always taking pictures, here and there, but particularly at social gatherings, I held onto every moment. So many of those photos ended up online. For a while there, I twittered too. I found myself a circle of folks whose words and moments I felt I was part of.

But things have changed. These days, you don’t need a personal website- because now you’ve got facebook for all your online communication needs. You don’t spend hours on a design, changing it monthly, because that’ll never work on a mobile device.

I changed too- once my circle of friends was small, I lived miles from them and when we got together, every moment counted. Even when I came back to the city I held onto that for so long, photos here and there. Now I only take a few, probably on my phone and even they won’t be online.

I still read blogs from time to time, and occasionally twitter, but my life is now enveloped by something else, something larger. I have lots of friends, or at least that’s what facebook tells me, but I don’t have much time for what I loved to do: spend time with friends, watch movies, take photos, blog. I’m something and someone else- and now I don’t want to share what’s within me with the rest of the world. I don’t think it’s my stage in life, my job or my mind. I still spend a lot of time in my head, just now I no longer want to live out loud. Maybe it’s proof I didn’t have that much to say anyway.

So to the meagre few who passed this way, I say thank you for reading and commenting. To the real life friends who shared those moments, I embrace you. To crashingsilence.net- you are now like an old friend:thank you for giving me an outlet, a voice, a focus, an chance to learn so much and an experience.

Good- bye

I expect in the not too distant future, I’ll shut down the blog, and have the domain redirect to whatever lights the spark for me in my future

Posted in Life